Two years ago, I wrote my first post on Oneness, and without any knowledge or assistance intuitively realized the nature of Oneness and the role of humans in the universe for the first time. This was not an isolated realization though, but the inevitable fruit of me earnestly seeking out my purpose with an open mind over the past 5 years, as described in this post. Even after writing that post, I did not truly realize the meaning of my words, nor did I even in my next major post on Oneness. It was only through the guidance of my dear friend Alyssa Del Rosario that I was able to begin appreciating the meaning of my own words, culminating in a series of revelations about Oneness beginning with “Hidden Knowledge“.
Since then I’ve pursued Oneness fervently, but not wholeheartedly. I have been held back this entire time from realizing Oneness by my own selfishness, because I did not originally intend to realize Oneness- that was not the original plan. I started writing by asking the question, “what is my purpose”, and committed to answering that question with a continuous stream of thought until I had reached the end of the thought; once I had reached the end, I will have realized my purpose, whatever that may be.
That experiment has gone on for the past 5 years, and part of me- the selfish part- didn’t want the experiment to end. I wanted to continue to seek out the truth infinitely and never find it. This paradoxically never-ending search for truth was my original plan, as expressed here:
the majority of [my writing] is dedicated to explaining various concepts- notably relativity, adaptation, theology, philosophy, psychology, reality, and love. So I guess that would give me a “head-start” in my journey towards finding truth (not that it matters much, since I won’t be able to find truth anyway) : – )
Don’t get me wrong, I really did want to find the truth, but I really didn’t think it was possible to find it. At the time I was mostly left-minded (which, considering I’m left-handed, is quite curious!) so the concept of an intuitive understanding of the universe was beyond my comprehension, forget Universe Consciousness! Since I already had rationally determined the impossibility of finding any greater truth than a common ground, I decided to seek out truth with the expectation that I would most certainly never find it!
So when I did find the truth I was seeking, using the seemingly random intuitive method of continuing the thought (basically the equivalent of playing “whisper down the lane” with myself) you can imagine I was quite surprised, and not pleasantly either. So the first time I discovered Oneness I didn’t accept it, and forgot it. the second time I rediscovered it I still didn’t accept it, and once again forgot. The third time (yup it’s a charm!) I was inspired to revisit Oneness by Alyssa Del Rosario, and this time I could not forget it again, because her wonderful energy and purity had left the imprint of Oneness on my heart. It was then that Oneness was no longer a mere curiosity, but a serious priority!
Since then, I have made it my greatest goal to realize Oneness, but I could not do so because my heart was still divided. While I did want to realize Oneness, I also wanted to do a lot of other things, many of which are expressed in this post. As Liza Persson noticed, none of these things are either my wants or needs, they are actually my material cravings and carnal desires. She was confused by what I meant by “want” and “need”, but I could not adequately tell her, and opted instead to hide my confusion underneath open-ended Freudian jargon. The truth is, I did not want to give these things up for Oneness, so I pretended that my cravings were my legitimate needs, and my desires were my natural desires. I wanted to realize Oneness, but I also wanted to maintain my separateness, so I (my Ego) created wants and needs in a desperate last-stand (a spiritual tantrum of sorts) to reinforce my attachment to the material and carnal reality.
Even though in my limerance for her, I hid my selfish clinging to separateness from Alyssa, her third-eye saw straight through my pretensions, and it became difficult for her to keep her heart open to me, because my spirit of separateness and carnal desires for her were brazen as a shadow on a bright day. The shadow of my separateness was interfering with her unity with God, so she began to distance herself.
But I am thankful she distanced herself, because it was then that I realized the travesty that Separateness is to those that have seen the light. While my darkness may not be as upsetting as the many humans who live completely selfishly, and do not even pursue Oneness, it still casts a nasty shadow that interferes with the perfection of total unity with God. Having understood this, I began to dedicate myself to Oneness again, this time through the guidance of Liza Persson, a truth-seeker like myself who is also on the path to Oneness, and who better understands the intuitive aspect of Oneness that I am only recently learning.
But no matter how much knowledge I acquire, epiphanies I have, or wonderful children of God I surround myself with, I will never realize Oneness until I make it my only priority. As Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” This means that the only thing I should be focusing on is Oneness, and everything else will be fulfilled in the process. This is very important, as it ties into the true nature of Oneness, and of God. The reason I don’t need material cravings or carnal desires isn’t because they aren’t an important part of life- they are- it’s because as the manifestation of God, I have already experienced everything already!
When we experience the material world, it is merely a finite interpretation of the all, a doing of what’s already been done, for the sake of doing it. Basically, the material world is a distraction, an entertainment for the soul. We already know everything and have done everything even before we knew or did, because God is all, and always has been. Life is just an interpretation of the preexisting, in reality nothing has been done that wasn’t already, and nothing has been thought that wasn’t already part of the preexisting thought of God.
In this sense, life on the material plane is just a material expression of the divine, so when we are living life as a materially separate entity from the all, life becomes no more than a cosmic game of “pretend”. We’ve already pretended for an eternity now, isn’t it about time that we free ourselves from this walled garden of life, from the confines of this dream of a finite material reality, and once again embrace the supernatural freedom, unity, and amazing selfless love of Oneness? It’s been a long time coming, probably an eternity for my soul, but I’ve finally decided. I’m ready.