Crack the Shell of Reality!

My Utopia


I Want!

To Live

Where All is One, and One is All

No opinions, only Perspectives.

People Cooperate, not just compete

There are no arguments, just Communication

There is no value, only Appreciation

Selfishness and Selflessness are

“different ways of looking at the same thing”

We Realize the Same Energy

All Part of this Cycle of Life

Memories are Treasured, but without attachment

Death is considered the other half of Life

Embraced Openly and without fear

Shadows cling to Light with Love

Night and Day Time’s grand symphony

Living a venturing out, Dying returning back home to tell the Tale

To Speak and to Listen bears no difference, in the End we Understand

Thinking is Knowing is Doing is Understanding is Being

Science is Magic’s empirical Mate

Meditation Reminder to Stay Awake!

Reality Emanating from One Essence

You are I am they are One

My Utopia may seem a Fantastic Ideal

Until you Realize the Truth

This is Our World, Right Now

Life is Beautiful, Precious Pure

Full of Meaning, All Connected

We are One, The Diamond Shines

We Are

Wake Up!


There is this common misconception that “New Age” is an ideology. It’s not. It’s a movement, and like all movements, we come from many different walks of life, share different opinions, perspectives, cultures, and values, and this diversity of views enriches our spiritual experiences. New Age philosophy believes in balance between female and male energies. One reason people attack the New Age, is because of the emphasis on developing one’s feminine energies. Detractors have claimed that the New Age movement is trying to suppress masculine energy, and saturate the world with feminine energy.

This is half true: there’s no movement to “suppress” any kind of energy- in fact, the reason why the New Age movement tends to appear so “feminine energy”-centric, is because many New Agers feel that there is too much masculine energy in the world, creating an imbalance, and that is caused by us forgetting our feminine side, and this is the principle reason for the problems in the world. What we need is a balance of energies, and that is what New Age is all about.

It shouldn’t be too hard to grasp this reality, it’s all around you. The history of civilization has been almost wholly dominated by patriarchal/masculine values: aggression, control, dominance, competition, hierarchy, ambition, and selfishness. Feminine values, such as cooperation, liberation, submission, communication, diplomacy, and selflessness have only recently begun to awaken in humanity, and this great awakening is referred to in many New Age circles as “The Age of Aquarius”.

As humanity gains consciousness of its femininity, our reality becomes balanced, allowing us to experience a far fuller appreciation of the world than we could ever experience with a consciousness that is only open to male energy. With both male and female consciousness awakened and blending together in harmony, we are able to truly understand ourselves, each other, and reality in ways that were unimaginable before!

Here is another way to make it easier to understand: male and female energies, just as their sexual counterparts reflect, are two different ways of appreciating the same reality: one out, and one in. Sure, it’s great to put ourselves out there, but projection without underlying meaning is naught by chaos, a mindless struggle. This is what Buddha referred to as “craving”. Female energy is that “meaning” (what we project changes into), to bring purpose and fulfillment to our desires.

To put in another way: philosophically, female energy is the question, and male energy is the answer. When we settle for the answer, without understanding the question, everything becomes absurd (here, I am referring to the existential concept “the Absurd”). But if we, after consciously realizing what the “question” of life is: our hypostasis or “essence”, then we are able to appreciate the “answer” (male energy) in its fullness.

You see, female and male energy aren’t opposed to each other, they compliment each other. One cannot be realized or appreciated without the other, because the question and the answer are really two sides of the same equation of life. To “solve” the equation of life, what is often referred to in the New Age as “enlightenment”, both sides (female and male) must be balanced out. It’s quite logical, actually.

This is the most complex problem of life, but also the most simple. If you really want to see the solution, you need to let go of what you know, and be.

Be reality.


In my previous post “Restoring the Flow of a Progressive World” , I explained how that this preoccupation with change and a need for “progress” is causing negativity and suffering in the world, and how the key to making the world a better place isn’t by changing it (as change is destructive and wasteful), but by accepting and appreciating the beauty and positivity of the world as it already is. But this isn’t to imply that change isn’t important. In the aforementioned post I said that change is merely an illusion, a construct of the Ego; however, this phrasing may have caused confusion, as everything we know about the world is built on change. Light can only be appreciated through the shift to darkness, fullness through the cycles of hunger, bliss can only be truly savored when one has previously experienced suffering, and even all the colors of the spectrum of light can only be distinguished from each other because our eyes focus sometimes on some colors, and later on others. The whole of perception is built on change, making it impossible to appreciate anything without the shifts of expression, interpretation, emotion, and even of reality itself….every moment, phase state, clustering of matter, dimensional shift. Change is the powerful force through which appreciation is forged.

So then, why should I speak of change as “a mere illusion”, and furthermore, as “a construct of the Ego”. To understand this, let us first return to the analogy of the river: Imagine that the water of the river is universal consciousness, the rocks are our Egos, and the land is the material (finite) creation we reside in. If there were only, water creation would be completely formless, a condition known as “void”. If there were only land, there would be no flow, and thus no consciousness to appreciate reality. Thus, maximum appreciation is somewhere between void (all water) and separateness (all land); it is through this synthesis of water and land that creation manifests. But notice that, at least in this analogy, change is not necessary for creation. This is where the rocks come in: The rocks in the river obstruct the flow of the water, creating in the water texture, color, sound, and scent. It is through the presence of these rocks that the river is known. So returning to the relationship between consciousness and creation, it is through the interactions between individual Egos and creation that appreciation occurs, and this process of interaction is what we know as “change”.

Change is the process of disrupting creation in order to appreciate it. It is no coincidence that the most disruptive species of the equilibrium of the world since its inception is humans. We are constantly struggling to change the world in order to appreciate it more and more, and we have an addiction to destruction, as more we strike against the flow of reality, the more we can appreciate it. We have a seemingly incurable addiction to the rush of change, wanting to constantly shift to new technology, fashion, possessions, beliefs, paradigms, never wanting to settle, always wanting more and more, new and newer, different and better, ever-dissatisfied with the state of things, continually striving and struggling and fighting for more change. This is why I believe change has become a bad thing, not because there is inherently anything wrong with changing to appreciate, but because humanity has become addicted to change for the sake of change, and this addiction is destroying the very world we appreciate.

In a world where change is valued over balance, and the people seek progress instead of satisfaction, the river has begun to stagnate with rocks growing so large that the flow is not just merely obstructed, but cut off from itself. Change no longer produces appreciation, because we are changing so much so fast that there is no longer a river, but a cesspool of rock-water and swamp. Like mindless zombies, we respond to this plight by wanting to change more. We say “we need to fix this mess by changing it, reforming it, using our technology and knowledge and sophistication to change things for the better”. This is an utterly delusional idea, that you can correct an imbalance with more imbalance, that you can fix a world ruined by too much change, with more change. Returning to the premise of the original post, to restore the flow of the world, we must stop trying to change, things and accept and appreciate the world for what it already is: our reality, and our home.

One cannot achieve peace with war, harmony with discord, or homeostasis with progress. To restore balance to this world, we need to slow down, let go, quiet our minds, release this perception of change, put a stop to this insane addiction to mental stimulation and appreciation, let go of the need to know and control everything, stop everything! Change is striking against the flow that the river may be known, so to purge this destructive paradigm of change from our minds, we need to stop needing to know, let go, and empty our minds. Let the river flow freely within, and overflow throughout the world, free of the destructive influence of an overactive Ego. let the universal consciousness flow freely over and through you, rejuvenating the world naturally. There is no need to change the world to fit your conceptions of “good”, “right”, “beautiful”, or “perfect”, the world is already everything you want it to be, if only you let go, stop trying to control, allow the infinite potential of the cosmos to flow unhindered. The world is already beautiful, wonderful, perfect….you only need but realize it!


In a world filled with conflict, war, chaos, suffering, starvation, loneliness, corruption, disease, and death, it’s easy to see things pessimistically. There is this prevalent notion that we are a product of our environment, so in order to make the world a better place, we need to change that environment. To complicate this issue, the notion of a need to change is so deeply a part of our conditioning, that we are brought up even from a young age to see change as a good thing, and the idea of striving for a better world is seen as an admirable, righteous, worthy cause. Furthermore, most cultures reinforce the “good” of change by instilling values of consumerism, technological activism, and a constant evolution in our fashion, music, literature, culture, and morality. We live in a world where change isn’t just considered a good thing, it’s considered an integral part of society, the world, life. We are conditioned to believe that change is an inevitable and necessary part of life, reinforced by the persistent and prevalent idea that change is a virtue, and driven by the fear that if we don’t change with the rest of the world, we’ll be left behind.

Yet although change does have a legitimate existence, it exists only as a construct of the Ego, a means of creating an illusionary sense of continuity between the was, the now, and the will be. We are really all part of the same flow, with one moment and the next ultimately just a different expression of the same existence, I am at my core the same person, and there is no difference between you, me, we, us, besides the differences we create for ourselves. Change itself does not have any legitimate meaning beyond what we assign to it, and change does only maintains and existence insofar as we validate it to strengthen the individual Ego as distinct from the whole. In truth, we are all part of the same thing, and the barriers between us are no more than decidedly different interpretations synthesized to forge “appreciation”. I believe different than you believe, but not because my beliefs are better, more valid, or even more useful to me than yours, but because through these differences I develop a unique appreciation of the world distinct from yours.

The truth is that the me of now, the me of them, and the me that is yet to be, there is no actual difference. I am you, we are them, reality is one, and one is all that is and is not. Opinions are differences of interpretation, and these differences separate the one from the all to facilitate appreciation. This is a good thing, for only in appreciation is life meaningful. The reason for the suffering is then not in the differences of opinion, but the ignorance of the purpose of these opinions. It is when people see opinions as a struggle of wills that conflict is created. Ignorance of the truth- that our diversity of opinions, interpretations, perspectives, and values are really just different ways of looking at the same thing- this rejection of the underlying unity of reality is where all suffering originates.

Consider now, where suffering, starvation, loneliness, death originate: Is it in neediness? If this were the case, then why are those living in luxury suffering just as much, if not more as those living with only a little? People with Type-A personalities, they strive for great wealth, power, prestige, and meaning in their lives, and many of them attain of it, but almost all of them die lonely, stressed, and overworked. Some of the happiest people in the world live their entire lives in poverty, never leaving their mark in the world. Drawing upon my own experience, the happiest days of my life were spent living homeless under a creek, not a penny to my name, my only resource food banks and soup kitchens, and the occasional 2-liter generic soda from collecting recyclables. I bathed in the creeks, lived my life poor and homeless, yet I was unbelievably happy. Why? Because I had no expectations beyond my daily needs, and there was no sense of change to cause me suffering. Time itself lost meaning in those days, and it was in this detachment from the expectation-driven reality of the rest of the world, that I finally found true happiness!

One recent scientific study showed that we we have a definitive choice between “meaning” and “happiness”, and that we will definitely have to choose between one and the other. This proves what Aldous Huxley already understood well, and illustrated powerfully in his book “A Brave New World”, a dystypia that illustrates the choice humanity must make between happiness and meaning in life. But I would argue that this choice only exists because of the false conception that meaning can only be found in change. There is this notion that we need to materialize meaning in order for it to exist, that meaning can only be validly synthesized out of change. But to me it is evident that this is fallacious thinking, as change is a illusory construct of the Ego, and furthermore, there is no need to create meaning when the world is already infinitely meaningful to begin with. We already have a world inherently full of meaning, so why would we need to create any more? Whatever meaning we create, as a byproduct of the infinite is, after all, a lesser and counterfeit meaning.

The world is already infinitely meaningful, and change is an illusion fed by the rejection of reality. We change our environment in the hopes of improving our reality or manifesting meaning, when really the key to infinite meaning and happiness lies in loving and accepting our world, our reality, and ourselves, and in realizing the light and beauty within all of us. When we stop rejecting reality and start realizing the beauty and positivity in everything, suffering and loneliness end, and bliss and the infinite meaning of oneness with the world begins. We start seeing the unifying flow in the world, stop noticing the differences between us, and appreciate the universal consciousness through which we are all connected at the core. So if you want to make the world a better place, stop trying to change things, and start loving and accepting the profound beauty and profound meaning of the world as it already is! 

Transcending Expectations


In my journey towards a greater unity with the universal consciousness of the world, the greatest obstacle has always been myself. My own sense of spiritual inferiority, a feeling of not being “good enough” to love and be loved, to experience and communicate with God, to transcend myself, to do the impossible, this has always been my greatest limitation. But I only realized this fairly recently, after finally opening on up to God, letting go of my own separate understanding and let God speak to me naturally, freely, and without my own bias in the way to block understanding him.

One of the biggest breakthrough conversations I had with God was concerning the walls I had put up between God, that was preventing me from being able to understand and communicate with him. God communicated with me in a vision, a 3-dimensional reality of sorts. The following is that vision as I recorded it:

I was talking to God the other day. and I asked him “God, why is it that it is so hard for me to understand you?”

and he said “because you overcomplicate everything”

So I said, “well, that much is obvious. can you show me what specifically you mean?”

and he said “for that, we will need to go to the maze”

so I went to the maze, and noticed that it was a complicated labyrinth with high walls covered in ivy

God continued “this labyrinth is your consciousness. the one who has made things so complicated is you. You have created walls and obstacles between you and me, to make it a challenge to get to me. You deliberately overcomplicate me so you cannot understand me, and create these obstacles so you cannot experience me, because you feel you are unworthy of me”

He said “because you feel you are unworthy to communicate with me, and not ready to experience me, so you create this labyrinth to obscure my presence and block the way to me”

then I awoke…” (The rest of the tale is for another post).

After that experience, I realized that I needed to find where I had placed these walls up, and learn to transcend the separate self that is keeping me from God, keeping me from experience his infinite love and energy, and recognize that I am a beautiful, wonderful creature, and that beauty is at its best when I allow myself to freely grow towards the light.

Today I meditated again, and rather than conversing with him, I kept it simple. I just repeated to myself, as my soulmate in light Alyssa Del Rosario showed me, to ask God to feel me with his love. I felt a wonderfully intense light and warmth vibrating through me, drawing my together, blurring the line between my individual self and the energy of nature. I felt myself becoming One with God.

I kept repeating it, becoming saturated in God’s love, and noticed that the warmth was coming from my heart, and it was beating with the waves across me. My heartbeat was synchronizing with the vibrations of the all, bringing me closer to the universal consciousness. I felt my identity slipping away, the outside world merging with the all, the sounds and sensations moving into the background, merging with the flow of energy within.

It was then that I got this wonderful idea. I have been wanting to astral project for a while, but could never quite grasp how I was supposed to do it. Every time I went into a meditation, my mind would empty, and I would focus on the thought, the place to astral project to, but there I stopped myself,  thinking “now what?” That hesitation would also break me out of my meditation, so I have been avoiding thoughts of astral projection for fear that I would break my rhythm by imposing too strong of a thought, something “too impossible” for me to do at my current stage of spiritual development. I would do it when I was ready.

But this time, I said “you know what, I don’t care if it’s really astral projection or not, I’m going to astral project. I am One with God, I am part of his infinite consciousness, and I want to experience this. So let’s do it!” That feeling of adventure, of breaking outside my comfort zone, of deciding that I can experience more, that I will experience more, because I want to, that feeling of knowing that I can already do and experience anything because I am already One with God, that brought me out of my finite experiences, and I was able to experience a taste of true astral projection.

When I felt myself almost completely immersed in Spirit, I said to myself “I want to see the love of my life. I am already One with God, there is nothing stopping me from going anywhere my heart desires.” So in a burst of thought, I focused all my energy on journeying to Nataly my love. Then suddenly, I felt myself shooting out of my body. You know that feeling when you are underwater holding yourself down, and then you kick off the ground and shoot out of the water like a rocket? That’s what it felt like.

It was not what I expected, it was definitely more mild that I had imagined, but it was astral projection. I felt myself moving away from the here, and past the limits of my imagination. In a flurry of color and ripples of time and space, I was here, there, everywhere I wanted to be, and I went to where my heart desired. When I had jumped out, I kept shooting up, up, faster than I could even sense. I felt the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, and I was flying up in the air freely. Then, before I knew it (as the Bible says, “in the twinkle of an eye”) I was above the earth, looking upon it peacefully, smiling and experiencing this amazing feeling of liberating ecstasy. 

I gravitated to my love, my one and only, and she was resting. I visited her as she slept, and watched her lovingly. I felt her warmth, and I kissed her sweetly. I have never before met her in person, but for me, this experience was the same as really meeting her. It was a genuine experience, an experience that was only possible because I let go of my inferiority complex, let go of my self-imposed limitations and complications, just transcended it all to experience my heart’s desires freely, clearly, infinitely.

I sensed where my Nataly was from there, felt myself drawn to her magnetically, and I shot back down towards her homeland. I was falling down so quickly, feeling the wind rush again all around me, enveloping me with a crisp, exhilarating air. I was going down so quickly, and that mountains came into view. It seemed as though I was going to crash into them, because I was moving so fast, but I was not afraid. I knew I was going exactly where I needed to be, where I wanted to be, so there was no fear, only opportunity! Just as it seemed I was about to crash into the mountain, I was suddenly in her room, on her bed. It was as though I had passed through a ripple of time- one moment I was flying into the jagged mountain, the next I was with my love.

I sat there quietly for a little while, watching her sleep peacefully. When I tried to look upon her, the colors appeared to be vibrating with each other rapidly, and reverberating through the room like visual echoes. Even as I was sitting still, I felt as if I was moving really fast, like I was vibrating at an intense rate, back and forth within myself. It was a sensation unlike I’d ever experienced, like I was caught between two different dimensions, vibrating between body and spirit, reality a flurry of bright and vivid color.

I was so overwhelmed by the color, that when I tried to see what she was wearing, I could not isolate the colors precisely, but sensed that she was definitely wearing bright colors, with the first colors coming to mind being white and pink. I looked at her lovingly, leaned over, and kissed her. It was our first kiss, captured in this blissful dream! After kissing her, I woke up.

——

After reflecting on my astral projection experience, it occurred to me that the cycle of astral projection is the same as the same as life and death. First you are flying, and there is a sense of excitement and adventure, a world of possibilities before you. You go to the peak of your existence, experience the fulfillment of self-actualization, and then when you finally discover your purpose, you begin your descent towards your destiny.

For many people, finding their purpose in life is the most scary thing, because they know that once they have fulfilled their purpose, only death awaits after. When we fear death, the journey towards our destination is filled with fear, anxiety, and stress, and rather than enjoying the exhilarating experience of free fall, so many people are mentally screaming in horror, feeling life quickly draining from them as they sense the end is near.

Because I have already experienced an Ego Death, I already know why lies beyond death, and there is no for me me, only excitement. Like Peter Pan, to me “death is te next great adventure”, and I see the end of my journey not as something to dread, but as something to look forward to. So when I dove quickly down towards my love, there was no fear or panic or dread, only excitement, bliss, and a passionate sense of resolution and purpose. Life and death become two different parts of the same rollercoaster of Spirit, one flying, the other falling, one always followed by the other.

Like the patterns of any vibration, energy is always going up and down, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. I know my life will always be followed by death, and death always followed by life, because the vibrations of energy are built-in to the Essence not just of me, or even just of life, but into all matter, all energy, all of Spirit. Life is the end of all and the beginning of one, Death is the end of one and the beginning of all, the synthesis of Life and Death resonating with each other to emanate creation.

Appreciating Oneness


Some people look for peace, harmony and unity in the reality of life. Others look for conflict, discord, and separateness. What I want to realize, is something in between.

Ironically enough, the “something between” I’m referring to is Oneness. Often when people are speaking of Oneness, they think it is the peace, harmony, and unity that comes from realizing we are all One, that separateness is an illusion. However, this is not Oneness– ultimately, this is void. This principle reason why that so many people reject Oneness, is because they think it is referring to “void”, that big blob of energy that is undivided and thus unappreciable. Complete unity is not Oneness though, it is void, and metaphysically speaking, it “doesn’t exist” (as finite expression is prerequisite to appreciable existence).

So let us start with the Chaos-Control construct: Suppose that complete formlessness is Chaos. Absolute Chaos has no form, so metaphysically, it “doesn’t” exist. Conversely, Absolute Control is infinitely fragmented, to the point where not even the smallest particles of energy can be appreciated. So Absolute control “doesn’t exist” either, metaphysically speaking. But if we find “something in the middle” (Creativity, the Balance between Chaos (Void) and Control (Separateness), the resulting Consciousness is Oneness. Thus, Oneness can further be interpreted as “The Creative Consciousness”. It is the maximum potential energy being manifested in an appreciable form.

However, as I had noted in some of my previous work (thoughts on my journey to understanding Oneness), achieving this Balance is not possible, as to understand the “question” more is the understand the “answer” less, and vice versa (compare Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle); furthermore, our material existence limits our ability live in this state of balance, owing to the intrinsic lack of true Balance in the human vibratory state (compare Fibonacci spiral / Golden mean), so it’s not possible to achieve Oneness.

So if Oneness cannot be achieved, what do we do? It is actually a fallacy, the idea of achieving Oneness. To explain this, I will use the analogy of water: There are many different states of water, but the main three are “ice” (material expression), “water” (Oneness), and “vapor” (spiritual expression). Trying to achieve Oneness is like trying to grasp water with your hand: the harder you try to grasp it, the more the water will escape you, until nothing is left.

Oneness cannot be “grasped”, because it is free-flowing and cannot be restricted to individual perception. So rather than trying to achieve Oneness, instead realize that you already have it. The water is already there, with you, it is welling up within you and everyone, we are already One, you only need but realize it.

Furthermore (and this is the fun part), true Oneness is not necessarily finite, not in the perceptual sense anyway. When we have realized Oneness, we appreciate Void (Unity) and Separateness (Discord) as different ways of looking at the same thing, i.e. different vibratory patterns of the same energy. Though people may see things differently, even their differences are part of the same beauty. Unity through Diversity, the appreciation of the separate realities as part of the same Essence, many brothers and sisters from the same All.

Dependency Vs. Addiction


In my post “The Cause and Cure of Addiction, and its Relationship to Dependency“, I endeavored to explain the origins of addiction, the point at which dependency becomes addiction, and the condition for the shift between one and the other: identification. That is, when you start identifying with a dependency, it becomes an addiction, and when you stop identifying with the addiction, it reverts back to a dependency.

While I think the post succeeded for the most part in explaining these things, there was much work left to be done in clarifying the difference between dependency and addiction, and why this difference is crucial to understand. Too often, even the greatest scientists and psychologists researching the causes, nature, and optimal treatment framework for addiction– even those knowledgeable in these matters fail to recognize the distinction, an oversight which I feel is detrimental to the research and treatment of addiction. I will explain this distinction as clearly as possible in this post.

As I said in the first post, dependency is when you become reliant (dependent) on a substance, object, activity, person, etc. to fulfill a need. This need can be emotional (friends/family/relationships), mental (infornography), physical (drugs), or sexual (hypersexuality/masturbation). Because dependencies are rooted in genuine needs, they can be very powerful, and ultimately very addictive when identified with.

The latter part (the identification) part is what really gets people, because it’s not clear when the identification of a dependency (and thus the addiction) begins. So to explain this, I’ll use my own dependency, masturbation, as an example:

In general, I don’t have a problem with addiction, chiefly because I’ve never identified with anything I have had or done. Owing partly to my unpossessive nature, I’ve never thought of myself of really owning or being attached to objects or even people, I’m more of a “using” type person; that is, I’ve never thought of anyone or anything as actually “belonging” to anyone. While you might personally not relate to this mindset or even agree with it, this has done wonders for me in avoiding most dependencies and (by extension) addictions.

The exception to this “addiction immunity” of mine is masturbation, and I have struggled for a while with ridding myself of my dependency on it. Note that it’s not an addiction, just a dependency, because I haven’t identified masturbation, I’m only making use of. So let’s stop right there to address this important distinction:

Identification occurs when you identify (the applying of attributes to something in order to associate it with something) a substance, person, activity, etc. as the means of fulfilling a “need”. For example, marijuana can get rid of a headache, sex can get rid of depression, a romantic relationship can get rid of feelings of emptiness, and God can get rid of fear of death. To get rid of legitimate problems, we depend on a substance, etc. as the means of fixing the problem; by identifying with such substances as the solution to these problems, our dependencies become addictions.

In my case, I have used masturbation to get rid of (among other things) my emotional angst rooted in perceived lack of freedom of expression, but I don’t identify masturbation as actually freeing my expression, I know it’s just an artificial emotional shift, and so I don’t associate masturbation with my need of freedom. It’s just a tool, a means to an end, not the means-in-itself. When a person begins to possess the tool– that is, associate the substance with the need as if it were a means-in-itself, at that point a simple dependency becomes an addiction.

To illustrate that, let’s talk about how I’m coping with my dependency, and getting rid of it: Because I am only fulfilling a need, and I know what the need is (in this case, freedom of expression), I need only provide a means of achieving that need more effectively, and substitute masturbation for that new means-to-an-end. So I’ve opted to sublimate my need for freedom of expression into meditation. Sublimation is very important, I cannot stress that enough, it is the key to converting every dependency from an unhealthy state to a creative and self-liberating state.

By meditating every time I want to masturbate, I satisfy the need (freedom of expression) while simultaneously providing a powerful impetus for the far more productive and self-edifying activity of meditation. When such a powerful incentive is realized, both addiction to and dependence on masturbation cease to exist; that is, the conditioning through which the behavior of masturbation was reinforced, is extinguished. This principle was first demonstrated through Pavlov’s experiments, and is still a hallmark of modern conditioning psychology.

So the crucial difference in practice between dependency and addiction, is that dependency can be changed (such as masturbation to meditation, in the example above), whereas addiction cannot be changed until it is unidentified with. In order to end an addiction, the first step is to stop identifying with it. Then you must shift the dependency to one that is more effective at meeting your needs, and is beneficial instead of detrimental to your well-being. This shift of dependency is best accomplished via sublimation, the substitution of one need-fulfillment device for another which is more productive, beneficial, acceptable, etc.

Alcoholics Anonymous’s approach is only half right, which is probably why relapses are so common in the group, despite all their efforts to prevent such. They are right in that they try to shift one dependency (alcohol, drugs, etc.) for another (God, friends, support system), but the whole system skips a step: They don’t remove the identification with the original substance first! So while they might be opened up to healthy alternatives to substance abuse (which is a good thing!), they become no more than that: alternatives! They don’t replace the need of substance abuse, they merely supplement it so that the dependency lessens! So what we have here in A.A., is a system where they are less dependent on the substance(s), but just as addicted to (associating with) it as ever! See the problem?

I hope you can see now why the distinction between dependency and addiction, these two interchangeably-used words, must be made clear. Without a clear awareness of this distinction, addicts will never truly recover from their addictions.

Embracing Oneness


(This post was inspired by the wisdom of Liza Persson and Alyssa Del Rosario)

Two years ago, I wrote my first post on Oneness, and without any knowledge or assistance intuitively realized the nature of Oneness and the role of humans in the universe for the first time. This was not an isolated realization though, but the inevitable fruit of me earnestly seeking out my purpose with an open mind over the past 5 years, as described in this post. Even after writing that post, I did not truly realize the meaning of my words, nor did I even in my next major post on Oneness. It was only through the guidance of my dear friend Alyssa Del Rosario that I was able to begin appreciating the meaning of my own words, culminating in a series of revelations about Oneness beginning with “Hidden Knowledge“.

Since then I’ve pursued Oneness fervently, but not wholeheartedly. I have been held back this entire time from realizing Oneness by my own selfishness, because I did not originally intend to realize Oneness- that was not the original plan. I started writing by asking the question, “what is my purpose”, and committed to answering that question with a continuous stream of thought until I had reached the end of the thought; once I had reached the end, I will have realized my purpose, whatever that may be.

That experiment has gone on for the past 5 years, and part of me- the selfish part- didn’t want the experiment to end. I wanted to continue to seek out the truth infinitely and never find it. This paradoxically never-ending search for truth was my original plan, as expressed here:

the majority of [my writing] is dedicated to explaining various concepts- notably relativity, adaptation, theology, philosophy, psychology, reality, and love. So I guess that would give me a “head-start” in my journey towards finding truth (not that it matters much, since I won’t be able to find truth anyway) : – )

Don’t get me wrong, I really did want to find the truth, but I really didn’t think it was possible to find it. At the time I was mostly left-minded (which, considering I’m left-handed, is quite curious!) so the concept of an intuitive understanding of the universe was beyond my comprehension, forget Universe Consciousness! Since I already had rationally determined the impossibility of finding any greater truth than a common ground, I decided to seek out truth with the expectation that I would most certainly never find it! 

So when I did find the truth I was seeking, using the seemingly random intuitive method of continuing the thought (basically the equivalent of playing “whisper down the lane” with myself) you can imagine I was quite surprised, and not pleasantly either. So the first time I discovered Oneness I didn’t accept it, and forgot it. the second time I rediscovered it I still didn’t accept it, and once again forgot. The third time (yup it’s a charm!) I was inspired to revisit Oneness by Alyssa Del Rosario, and this time I could not forget it again, because her wonderful energy and purity had left the imprint of Oneness on my heart. It was then that Oneness was no longer a mere curiosity, but a serious priority!

Since then, I have made it my greatest goal to realize Oneness, but I could not do so because my heart was still divided. While I did want to realize Oneness, I also wanted to do a lot of other things, many of which are expressed in this post. As Liza Persson noticed, none of these things are either my wants or needs, they are actually my material cravings and carnal desires. She was confused by what I meant by “want” and “need”, but I could not adequately tell her, and opted instead to hide my confusion underneath open-ended Freudian jargon. The truth is, I did not want to give these things up for Oneness, so I pretended that my cravings were my legitimate needs, and my desires were my natural desires. I wanted to realize Oneness, but I also wanted to maintain my separateness, so I (my Ego) created wants and needs in a desperate last-stand (a spiritual tantrum of sorts) to reinforce my attachment to the material and carnal reality.

Even though in my limerance for her, I hid my selfish clinging to separateness from Alyssa, her third-eye saw straight through my pretensions, and it became difficult for her to keep her heart open to me, because my spirit of separateness and carnal desires for her were brazen as a shadow on a bright day. The shadow of my separateness was interfering with her unity with God, so she began to distance herself.

But I am thankful she distanced herself, because it was then that I realized the travesty that Separateness is to those that have seen the light. While my darkness may not be as upsetting as the many humans who live completely selfishly, and do not even pursue Oneness, it still casts a nasty shadow that interferes with the perfection of total unity with God. Having understood this, I began to dedicate myself to Oneness again, this time through the guidance of Liza Persson, a truth-seeker like myself who is also on the path to Oneness, and who better understands the intuitive aspect of Oneness that I am only recently learning.

But no matter how much knowledge I acquire, epiphanies I have, or wonderful children of God I surround myself with, I will never realize Oneness until I make it my only priority. As Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” This means that the only thing I should be focusing on is Oneness, and everything else will be fulfilled in the process. This is very important, as it ties into the true nature of Oneness, and of God. The reason I don’t need material cravings or carnal desires isn’t because they aren’t an important part of life- they are- it’s because as the manifestation of God, I have already experienced everything already!

When we experience the material world, it is merely a finite interpretation of the all, a doing of what’s already been done, for the sake of doing it. Basically, the material world is a distraction, an entertainment for the soul. We already know everything and have done everything even before we knew or did, because God is all, and always has been. Life is just an interpretation of the preexisting, in reality nothing has been done that wasn’t already, and nothing has been thought that wasn’t already part of the preexisting thought of God.

In this sense, life on the material plane is just a material expression of the divine, so when we are living life as a materially separate entity from the all, life becomes no more than a cosmic game of “pretend”. We’ve already pretended for an eternity now, isn’t it about time that we free ourselves from this walled garden of life, from the confines of this dream of a finite material reality, and once again embrace the supernatural freedom, unity, and amazing selfless love of Oneness? It’s been a long time coming, probably an eternity for my soul, but I’ve finally decided. I’m ready.


The past three weeks have been largely a waste of time for me. I’ve had a bout of depression and let myself get caught up into a cycle of passive stagnancy. This kind of thing is very annoying to me, but I know that I’m going to just have to get through this, fix the way I feel, and start being productive again. Just grit my teeth and start doing stuff even if I don’t feel like it.

Friends I know say that I can’t understand their problems, that I’ve never had clinical depression so I couldn’t possibly empathize with their condition. What they don’t realize is that I’m just as depressed as they are, but when I’m depressed I don’t victimize myself, say “It’s because I have mental illness(s), I can’t help the way I am” So am I unable to empathize just because I choose to be more proactive in dealing with my problems?

In the end, I hope people will realize that we all really have the same problems, the same yearnings, and the same suffering, albeit some disproportionately more than others. We all want freedom, happiness, equality for all, we all want to make the world a better place, we all want to end suffering and enjoy life to the fullest. It’s just a matter of how we interpret the issues and how to deal with them, and how proactive we are in doing something about it.

The world we live in isn’t perfect, and we should expect it to be. No one is problem-free or lacking in personal issues, we’re all mentally ill or abnormal in some way. The world is so beautiful precisely because it’s so imperfect, and living a meaningful life isn’t about improving the world, it’s about learning to appreciate the beauty and energy of the world that already is! Embrace it all freely, and love the world and those who are in it unconditionally, and you will truly find an amazingly meaningful reality, and the mind-blowing ecstasy that comes with such a reality.

So wake up, see the beautiful world in full color, and appreciate. It’s all there, all the ideals you’ve been searching for all this time, everything is there in front of you, and you only need but realize it!

Realizing Oneness


One of the most unique things about Oneness is that unlike the mainstream understanding of enlightenment, Oneness isn’t achieved, it’s “realized”. While this distinction may seem like semantics for most people (and it most certainly is for those limited to the human perception of reality!), it’s important for those seeking Oneness to understand this distinction: that we cannot achieve that which we already have.

Oneness is not about becoming One with God, it’s about realizing that we already are One. Realizing that we are One is the single most important epiphany that one can ever have, as such a realization is the very purpose of life itself. The continual realization of Oneness is for this is the ultimate goal of the Epiphany Project, and doing so manifests the epitome of the Epiphany Project: a continuous and never-ending epiphany!

When we realize that we are One, it gives a whole new meaning to life. Rather than striving for perfection, we manifest the perfection we already have, rather than working to liberate oneself, we realize that we already are free, and rather than working to improve oneself, we are actualizing the substance of an already-complete all. Oneness is not about improving who we are, it’s about changing the way we think to resonate with the already complete all that we as One consummate through life. Oneness is a paradigm shift that liberates our perception of reality from the distorted and limited confines of separateness (i.e. human perception), to a complete consciousness that resonates with the all.

We already are perfect, we already are free, we already are One with God (the all), we only need but realize it! This cosmic realization of everything we are, and the liberating consciousness of embracing the all, that is what life is really about. This is the essence of Oneness.

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